Send Nudes! Or… Maybe Don’t

The COVID-19 pandemic has confined many aspects of our daily functioning to virtual platforms, and our sex lives are no exception. While individuals who live with their partners have been able to maintain close physical contact, those who live alone have been increasingly turning to virtual sexual activities, such as sexting in the form of sending nude photos (Lehmiller et al., 2020). Evidently, sexting is becoming an increasingly attractive alternative to in-person sexual activities as it avoids the risk of contracting “the world’s biggest cock block” (GVDV, 2020), otherwise known as the novel coronavirus. While many individuals may now be considering this option, it appears that people often receive conflicting messages about whether to send or refrain from sending nude images (Thomas, 2018). This is not surprising considering the literature on this topic is divided, with most researchers narrowly focusing on the risks involved and framing sexting as a negative practice. While it is true that there are risks involved, the matter is more complex than that, with both risks and benefits that should be considered within the context of individual circumstances. Especially while sexting remains one of the safer options for sexual activity due to the global pandemic, it is important to consider the risks and benefits in a balanced manner. In order to understand safe sexting, I will be examining past research and discussing the associated risks and benefits followed by a brief consideration of which circumstances provide good or bad opportunities for sexting. Note: For the purpose of this blog, I will be discussing sexting in terms of sending nude or sexually suggestive images or videos.

Risks:

Much of the literature on sexting frames this practice as inherently risky, focusing on the negative consequences, so I will begin with an overview of these (Kalish, 2020). One of the most unavoidable risks involved in sexting is that the receiver may share and/or forward images. Although Canada has laws that protect against the sharing of nude images without the photographed person’s consent, research shows the likelihood of this happening anyway is remarkably high (Government of Canada, 2021). A recent study examining 770 young adults aged 18-25 found that 98% reported having shared or forwarded a sext in the past, (Brenick et al., 2020). While their definition of sexting included sexually suggestive texts as well as images and/or videos, this shows a disturbingly high willingness amongst young adults to share intimate messages without the sender’s consent. In another study surveying 606 high school students, 25% indicated they had forwarded a nude photo received via cell phone (Strassberg et al., 2013). While this number appears comfortingly lower than that of the previous study, sexting amongst high school students involves a whole host of other legal issues, which I will discuss next.

Sexting amongst minors is where this practice becomes the most problematic, as there can be major legal consequences. In Canada, if you are under 18 years old and you are creating, possessing, and/or distributing sexually explicit visual representations of yourself or another minor, you can be charged with a child pornography offense. The only time this does not apply is within the “personal use” exception, which permits two youths who engage in lawful sexual activity to record themselves as long as that recording is solely for personal use. As soon as this content is shared with anyone beyond the individuals recorded, it can be considered as a case of child pornography (Government of Canada, 2017). This exception does not apply to situations in which a minor sends a sexually explicit image or video of themself to another minor, since the recipient was not depicted in or involved in creating the content (Steingard, 2019). Surprisingly, most adolescents are not even aware that sexts can be considered child pornography, which indicates that they may be engaging in sexting without knowing the risks involved (Strohmaier et al., 2014).

Benefits:

On the bright side, there appear to be many benefits of this practice that adolescents can look forward to after their 18th birthday. Evidence suggests that most of the time, experiences with sexting are evaluated more positively than negatively (Hudson & Marshall, 2018). Negative outcomes really only occupy so much of the literature because, on the off chance that they do occur, they can be exceptionally harmful, (Hudson & Marshall, 2018). Some of the aforementioned negative outcomes have led people to feel more self-conscious about their bodies, find themselves in trouble with an employer, or experience extremely poor mental health (Hudson & Marshall, 2018). However, these outcomes occur far less frequently than positive outcomes, so exploring some of these positive outcomes is highly worthwhile!

Research indicates when sexting does go well, it can be beneficial for oneself and their relationship. A recent study found that many individuals who engage in sexting report that the positive feedback they receive from sending nude images has boosted their self-esteem and confidence (Holmes et al., 2021). In the same study, participants noted that sexting led to more openness and trust within their relationships (Holmes et al., 2021). Many reported that sexting fostered enhanced communication about sexual desires in the relationship and/or helped them to achieve sexual gratification when their partners were away (Holmes et al., 2021).

Achieving sexual gratification and relationship satisfaction when partners are away has gained a whole new meaning since the COVID-19 pandemic, as social distancing measures have made it impossible for some couples to maintain in-person contact. This has led to a lot of people questioning whether sexting might be a good alternative to in-person sexual activities.

Past literature indicates that, indeed, sexting is a good alternative in this case, as many couples report that sexting has been a great way to feel close when they are apart (Currin et al., 2019). Couples who sext when they are unable to be together report that it adds excitement to the relationship, maintains intimacy, and sometimes “holds them over” until they can see each other in person again (Currin et al., 2019). Ultimately, this research suggests that sexting may be particularly beneficial for couples who are facing limited options for intimacy due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

So… Should You Send Nudes?

Taken together, the research suggests that if you are contemplating sending a nude image, consider your situation. If you are underage or if anyone involved has not given their clear consent, sexting is not a good idea. Furthermore, due to the high number of people who have admitted to sharing or forwarding a sext, if you do not have an established level of trust with the receiver, then the risks of sending a nude image seem to outweigh the benefits. While a fun, flirty, sexually suggestive image may sometimes feel harmless, the consequences, particularly in these aforementioned situations, can be enormous. On the other hand, if you are two consenting adults in a relationship and the benefits I listed highly appeal to you, then sexting may be a good option. In these situations, the risks are comparatively minimal, and especially while there is a highly contagious virus sweeping across the globe, sexting appears to be a great way to maintain intimacy from a distance.

Bigger Picture: Sexting and COVID-19

Ultimately, options for partnered sexual activity right now might feel like trying to pick between the lesser of two evils. In-person contact involves the risk of contracting a potentially deadly virus, making sexting look more appealing. On the other hand, the literature on sexting frames this practice as inherently negative, narrowly focusing on the risks involved. Taking a step back and looking at the literature in a balanced manner highlights that sexting can be a positive sexual activity as long as it occurs under appropriate circumstances. As this practice becomes more enticing since it conveniently does not run the risk of contracting any deadly viruses, it is important that individuals understand both the risks and benefits involved. Once people have a balanced understanding that takes individual circumstances into account, then they can make informed decisions about whether or not this sexual practice is a good option for them.

 Abby Oliver, BAH, Queen's University

References

Brenick, A., Flannery, K. M., Karr, E., & Carvalheiro, D. (2020). Send Nudes? Evaluating sexting and victimization as related to attachment and rejection sensitivity: Incorporating sexual minority perspectives. In M.F. Wright (Ed.) Recent Advances in Digital Media Impacts on Identity, Sexuality, and Relations. Hershey, PA: IGI Global.

Currin, J., Pascarella, L., & Hubach, R. (2020). “To feel close when miles apart”: qualitative analysis of motivations to sext in a relationship. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 35(2), 244–257. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2020.1714024

Government of Canada. (2017, January 19). Cyberbullying and the Non-consensual Distribution  of Intimate Images. Department of Justice. https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/other-autre/cndii-cdncii/p6.html.

Government of Canada. (2021, February 18). Criminal Code. Justice Laws Website. https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/C-46/section-162.1.html.

GVDV. (2020, April 29). How Do We Online Date Now that COVID-19 Became the World's Biggest Cock Block? Medium. https://medium.com/moments-of-passion/covid-19-is-the-worlds-biggest-cock-block-922258d38bcb.

Hudson, H., & Marshall, S. (2018). Consequences and predictors of sexting among selected southern undergraduates. International Journal of Sexual Health, 30(1), 20–27. https://doi.org/10.1080/19317611.2017.1404540

Strohmaier, H., Murphy, M., & DeMatteo, D. (2014). Youth Sexting: Prevalence Rates, Driving Motivations, and the Deterrent Effect of Legal Consequences. Sexuality Research & Social Policy, 11(3), 245–255. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-014-0162-9

Kalish, R. (2018). Sexting 101, or how to send nudes. In Young Adult Sexuality in the Digital Age (pp. 13–29). essay, IGI Global, Information Science Reference.

Lehmiller, J. J., Garcia, J. R., Gesselman, A. N., & Mark, K. P. (2020). Less sex, but more sexual diversity: Changes in sexual behavior during the covid-19 coronavirus pandemic. Leisure Sciences, 1-10. doi:10.1080/01490400.2020.1774016

Steingard, J. (2019, December 2). Sexting: What's the big deal? LawNow Magazine. https://www.lawnow.org/sexting-whats-the-big-deal/#:~:text=It%20is%20illegal%20to%20take,possess%20child%20pornography.

Strassberg, D., McKinnon, R., Sustaíta, M., & Rullo, J. (2013). Sexting by high school students: An exploratory and descriptive study. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 42(1), 15–21. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-012-9969-8

Thomas, S., & Thomas, S. (2018). “What should I do?”: Young women’s reported dilemmas with nude photographs. Sexuality Research & Social Policy, 15(2), 192–207. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-017-0310-0